Your Way of Speaking

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Generally speaking, people favor either their mental doorway or the emotional avenue in the way that they “speak” themselves. Both can use the same words and mean something entirely different in the way they present the data. Here are some general differences.
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Your “way of speaking” may go unnoticed by you. After all, you have spoken this way all your life. Here are a few clues to understanding the two bases of communication, mental or emotional.
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The Mental Doorway If your “base of communication” is through the mental doorway, you may find that you quite naturally line things up in your mind’s eye, are goal-oriented, and pride yourself on getting to appointments on time. You might tend to pass judgment on those who are constantly late, talk over you, or don’t think before they speak.
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You will like to be organized, in control, and “on top of the situation.” Uncertainties and unknowns will not thrill you. Using the Internet or text messaging to communicate may be more to your liking, rather than picking up the phone and calling. Not that you don’t enjoy a good phone call—it’s just that sometimes you might not feel you have time for the “niceties” of a conversation.

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The Emotional Doorway If your way of speaking is through the emotional avenue, you may well share some of the traits of a mentally-based communicator; however, you would probably prefer just to pick up the phone and leave a message that you do not have to type or “think through”. Your zest for living has a more spontaneous factor, and sometimes what comes out of your mouth is just being formulated as you speak. This hearing of your own thoughts at the same times others do can cause you havoc. Hopefully, you will not enrage anyone standing nearby with your musings. The emotionally-based person is more apt to touch a friend or colleague with a gesture or hug while speaking, which can unnerve some people. Both physicality and emotionality live in the present moment, so, not surprising, the emotional and physical both come forth in the communications of the emotionally-based individual.

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Clouding Factors Despite our underlying base of communications, sometimes through the effects of a number of life experiences, the unreleased or unresolved mental and emotional energy that we carry around can mask the expression of our base. Sometimes this “clouding” of the communication comes across as a person sending “mixed signals.” Here are a couple of common examples:
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Emotional Base with a Mental Override Some people have had enough bad experiences in life that they “shut down” their natural way of speaking and literally override themselves. For example, an emotionally-based individual with a mental override can be a little bit like a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde presentation—easy-going while relaxed and having fun, then very focused and purposefully intense (sometimes with negative judgment) when distressed or afraid.
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In addition, you may be emotionally-based but have developed the mental doorway as a way of “fitting in” more acceptably to society and minimizing negative judgments coming your way from others.
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Mental Base with Continual Emotional Upset Some mentally-based individuals are in continual emotional upset. The source of their upset may be from deep in the past but has never been released or cleared. In fact, such folks may deny that there is an upset at all, pretending that nothing is wrong. Meanwhile, their tone of voice may come across as sharp and their responses clipped. Unbeknownst to them, their upset precedes them, as the denial of their upset is quite gettable to others.
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Is one “way of speaking” better than the other? The answer is, “not really.” Each one has its pluses, and when both bases work together in harmony, much can be accomplished. Mentally-based people are often apt at figuring out visual structure and design of things—for example, indoor plumbing (a personal favorite technology) or computer hardware or software. Emotionally-based individuals may naturally remind us of the joy and enthusiasm that is to accompany any venture in life. To me, it is the working together without judgment that allows for full self-expression—a mighty goal, but well worth pursuing.
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Notes:
  • If Emotionally based in the way that they speak, a person tends to carry more weight from their lower back down into their legs.
  • If Mentally based, an individual will be more aware of strain in their upper back and shoulders.
  • If Emotionally based with a mental override, this guy or gal will tend to have less flexibility in both upper and lower body areas, and be more fearful.
  • If a Mentally based person is in a state of denial, all systems can be affected.
   

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