From Duality to Dimensionality

One might ask: How do we get past our early training to become our full Self? The ‘duality alternative’ of that thought might be: how do we embrace our past experiences to be more fully who we are really intended to be? As in all duality, one side limits and negates, while its opposite expands and includes. It is no different than being in a group and feeling like an outsider, as opposed to meeting new people and really feeling a part of the experience. If there is one duality that appears to run through our lives, it is this: separate and alone (even in a crowd) or accepted and included? To me this duality is a simple choice, although I know it is not easy for many. For me, the choice is an opportunity to leap past duality into dimensionality. I choose to view and value each person in my life as a “world” unto him or herself, and I cultivate a large number of friendships. My choice is therefore to enjoy the MANY worlds that are available to me through the mingling of my life with many others. In other words, I like to emphasize my multiple dimensions rather than limit myself to just one other point of view available through one other person. What happens if I don’t end up enjoying one of these many interactions or “worlds”? Then I choose to go elsewhere. The duality to this choice would be the other person choosing to remove him or herself from interaction with me. Viewed “outside of duality,” our fullness or wholeness has not been altered one bit by any change in a relationship. If “I am them and they are me,” I know that they are taking care of themselves and are the director of their own journey. Besides, who am I to determine the course another’s life is to take, when my own life, or portion of the whole, so fully demands my own attention? Here’s another example of duality that can expand to dimensionality. Sometimes people are blamed for being “egotistical” or “arrogant.” This often indicates that a person is hanging hard and fast to a “one-sided” point of view. But in my experience, rarely or never will it be so that at least one other equally valuable view of the situation does not exist. It’s not bad or wrong or troublesome to have a point of view; it’s not even a crime to share one’s point of view. It’s only when we declare that our point of view is the only valid one that we step over the line from confidence to egotism or arrogance. Let’s put blame, if you will, where it belongs. It is our very own mind “taking sides” that makes our ship in life keel over. In fact, even if you can convince others to “come over to your side” and think just like you, you may come away thinking they are not strong enough to think for themselves—and your respect drops. On the other hand, if they appear to oppose your view, or refuse to “side” with anyone, that also offends you. Either way, holding fast to “one side” seems to cause a great deal of separation from each other. Isn’t that a high price to pay, just to be right, or just to be in charge? What if we all could agree that in order to be “right,” we don’t have to make others “wrong”? So what do you say, shall we at least consider that we don’t just live in a duality world but a multi-dimensional one, where each is entitled to a point of view, while supporting others to think differently? Just like our bodies, which enjoy a varied diet for the best health, we humans may just find that we can thrive on diversity. I’d like to think that it’s in all of us to like and enjoy our own self and our own life, as well as appreciate others’, even when “different.” As “all” ways—just a notion… —JL